31 May 2001

Dodgers v Superstars

31 May 2001

Who Can Count to Eleven

Who can count to eleven was all that the captain on the pitch needed to worry about today.

5:45pm Thursday 31 May, in the dressing room, someone yells 'we have to many' so the counting began, 12 was the eventual tally. JC had an instance look of horror on his face as if the barmaid had said we are out of beer, his face soon appeared with a smile as the 4'2" bearded werewolf looking one decided he would be better spending the afternoon sipping a few while keeping score, so the eleven was decided again and away we went.

With a toss of the coin, Dodgers were off to bat first. The skipper taking no chance against a very sorry looking Superstar side, sent the Antipodean specialist in, Bultitude and Coronno. Wham, bam, thank you mam, the cherry standing out better than an Englishman in soxs and sandles on holiday in Europe. Both taking it in turn to hit boundaries at will and showing no respect for a depleted bowling line up. Superstars Capt. Block, in disgust was heard to say, "I'd be better pissing it up against the wall and with that, took a long walk out to square leg and did literally for an eternity, until Bultitude hit one out to square leg to entice him back into the game.

Block was again in the picture, having a mid wicket confrontation this time shouting words like useless, never again, small, weak looking, bastard as he looked down at his tackle and then up at his once star bowler who had cried off injured AGAIN. And was made to take up the attack.

Coronno and Bultitude raced each other for runs, who would get 50 first was their only concern, as the bowling was sub standard from the Superstars with only Block tying up one end. The score was racing along with 12 overs down and 86 runs on the board and a run rate of 7.2. Comments from the sideline from Mr Priest, "I think we better get use to seeing the Aussie's hit them all around the park this summer".

With the score on 94 in the 15 over, Coronno on 46 with 50 in his sight and looking at that keener than the sheep in the next paddock (he must have wanted the 50!!!), turned for a second to back up Bultitude, but the call was NO and as it went to their best fielder, Taylor, he through down the stumps from 25 yards, Coronno was unlucky if it had been any one else picking it up he still would have been there. Well batted Mike, gave the opposition some sporting chances to take his wicket but struck the ball well overall.

Bultitude sporting a few extra kilo's from his summer in OZ was joined by another fan of the "Stick it up your Ass Weight Watchers Club" Neil Priest, also in good form started picking the gaps with easy, (even if one of those gaps was straight through first slip) and moving the score along to 110 in the 18 overs, when Bultitude carelessly played and missed the best ball of the game from that man Block again, 46 he remained on and still no Dodger to hit 50 yet!!!

Replacing Bultitude was his normal opening partner McBarron who is Struggling to find form to say the least and it didn't help when he forgot(when running for a sharp single) that he had Tubthumping Chumba Whooper at the other end instead of Bultitude and was sent back only to be left stranded when the bails hit the deck. Priest when asked at a post mortum interview about the incident said "My version of the McB run out is that, McB ran himself out". A man of few words which continued after the innings on the boundary with not one but two of his batting partners, yes Priest was involved yet again in another run out. McBarron out for 1 and a question running through his head, WHEN ????

To join Priest was Cooper who has not batted on to many occasions this year and had forgotten where he had to run to, when called for an easy 2 he ran 10 yards past the crease looking for flowers that he had seen on the boundary for his new wife, when the throw went wide Priest turned and called for another, Priest home easily past Cooper somewhere near the other end as instead of running the required 20 odd yards, made it into a Marathon run, the bails where off and the umpire had started to relocate them before Cooper had turned up. Run out 1, Priest can't blame himself for this one, as runs are vital in a 20 over match and putting pressure on the fielder by looking for an extra run is half the game.

Joining Tubby for a last minute dash was the skipper they nudged the score to 128, a great total off a 20 over match one would think???? But the President of the DCC (Dodgers Cricket Club) had joined us today in a playing/ Ken Bates role was quoted to say "Our batting to slower bowling was appalling and the feet movement in our top half of the batting order was crap!!!! as the run rate had slowed considerably when the slower bowlers came on". Like Bates the President was unable to show us what he meant as overs were at 20, but did manage to show some excellent turn of speed, (slightly quicker than the QE 2) and some brilliant foot work to match forgetting that today he was playing cricket not football, although made a great strike and had to chase the ball an extra 40 yards to the amusement of his team mates and the reason for many of his man of the match votes.

Change of Innings

Kym was glad for the break as having found the new founded technology in his scoring hut all a little to much having to pull things all over the place to keep the scoring up to date, deciding that this was no job for him, called on the services of chief tugger "Adey" to help him out in the scoring department.

Dodgers haven taken to the field, JC ensiled his trust again on the ever reliable Rod "I'm pleased with my hair colour" Paterson, who is now by far the best and fastest bowler going around in this competition. Paterson didn't let his captain down only the fielding could do this, much to the disgust of Paterson and others alike.

Bounding in from the other end was that man Bates Adey who never thought he would open the bowling and neither did the other 10 on the field with the Capt. making his decision, like the changing of the guard all players turned and started marching to all points of the boundary, until the Capt. yell stop! Let them hit over us, some thought this was a little easy and thought the pale ale had gone to the skips head, but after the first 6 looseners Adey was strolling into the crease landing them on the spot, "they would have turned a mile if it wasn't for the100 mile/hr wind coming from the leg side" he said. With the SICC (Superstar Internal Chucking Committee) there to look at the action which has come under scrutiny when the big man throws the quicker ball down the track passed with nothing for the umpires to say, keeping it nice and tight causing the one armed Gundry to watch carefully and was unable to get him away, it wasn't until he was called from the field and replaced by the wide tempered Talyor who showed no respect for any bowler and started adding runs to the board.

Paterson completed his 4 overs picked up the wicket of Steve Carter, caught Coronno. Crawford replaced Paterson, who for some reason looked more likely to hit the square leg fielder, than the pegs at the other end, keeper McBarron had plenty of choose words on the issue, until he amused us all by bowling a straight one and catching the unaware batsman off guard.

Benn took over from Adey and wished he hadn't as his bowling figures had more hurt that a Vinadloo curry the next morning and will surely be out to rescue his figures next week.

Cooper was to take up the bowling from Crawford and bowled well in his two overs for 8 runs.

To replace Benn was the self praised Sandamas from his earlier emails during the day, promised a Nick that we had never seen before, unlike his twin Crawford he bowled everything on the off stump. He was tempting fate with the umpires a couple of times with his quicker ball, just pushing it a little wide, but overall proved to be a reasonable spell bowling 2 of the last three over for 19 runs, its not easy to come in at the end of the day and keep the scoring down as he did, well done Nick.

Superstars never had a chance out there today, with an overwhelming Dodgers side, one can only guess that those that were missing were running scared from their averages, nothing was going to stop this inform side. Although the thing that is hurting Dodgers at the moment is again the lack of respect for the fielding technique, to many runs given away through unbelievable simple mistakes, taking the ball on the run is a hard thing to do and when it is not done well runs are given away, to many times this happens. Dodgers need to get behind and down to the ball, a player to watch in the field is Mike Coronno almost faultless in his technique. Its better to get down to the ball and let them have an extra run, than to balls it up completely and give them 4 runs. If the basics are tried you will at least stop more than you give away.

Man of the Match: Bultitude/Paterson

Toss won by: Dodgers


Bultitude b Block 46
Coronno Run Out 46
Priest Not Out 21
McBarron Run Out 1
Cooper Run Out 1
Carr Not Out 1
Extras 12
Total 128

Y. Patel 4 12 0
M. Taylor 4 19 0
Siva 4 45 0
Gundry 1 10 0
Block 4 19 1
Marchant 3 16 0


Carter Caught Coronno b Paterson 0
Tailor b Crawford 29
Gundry Retired 9
Carter.S Run Out 20
Whitrod Not Out 17
Gareth Not Out 10
Extras 14
Total 99

Paterson 4 10 1
Adey 4 15 0
Crawford 4 21 1
Benn 4 24 0
Cooper 2 8 0
Sandamas 2 19 0

22 May 2001

Dodgers v Highways Agency

22 May 2001

Dodgers won the toss and elected to bowl

Highways Agency: 90/9 off 20.0 overs (Nick H 32, Benn 3 – 16, Crawford 1 - 9)
Dodgers: 91/1 off 16.1 overs (Coronno 39*)


Dodgers Man of the Match: Mike Coronno

The sun continued to shine for Dodgers 2nd game as did our form. Still on a high from our annihilation of St Andrews, we comprehensively stuffed Highways Agency.

Highways fielded some new and some familiar faces and the assumption was that they would provide stiffer batting opposition than St Andrews. This however was not the case as, with the exception of opener Nick H., no-one looked dangerous. Tight bowling from Crawford and new find Cousins and an inspired spell from Benn (4-0-16-3) supported by the always reliable Hilary meant that Highways found runs hard to come by. Only the introduction of Adey eased the pressure. In fact it eased it so much that opener Nick H. had a rush of blood and in attempting to hit the “curry maestro” into Chiswick High Street was clean bowled. Highlights of an excellent Dodgers fielding display were the run out of Paresh (thanks Mr Whitrod) by Carr - although even he admitted he had time for a fag before returning the ball over the stumps - and Coronno’s excellent catch taken 3 inches off the ground whilst falling forward (Mike explained this was due in part to him just having donned his poseur sunglasses and consequently not being exactly sure where the ball was).

The Highways total of 90 looked comfortably achievable and this proved to be the case. In the absence of McBarron, Bultitude and Coronno opened the batting and despite tight bowling by Yogesh and Gareth, looked likely to reach the total without losing either wicket. Unfortunately this was not to be as Bultitude attempting to hit the cover off the ball through mid-wicket and the resident fielder's head, was miraculously caught by Peter (the said fielder) in an act of self preservation (he admitted afterwards that he couldn't feel his hand for the next 3 overs!). Coronno, now partnered by an unusually cautious Priest, eventually dispensed with his helmet and proceeded to punish the bowling with some excellent shots. The required total was reached in 16.1 overs and Coronno ended on 39 not out.

Another enjoyable game. If we play like this for the remainder of the season we'll definitely win more than we lose.

Kim Matthews

Conversation of the game (allegedly and with some poetic licence):

Coronno: "Umpire, can I have middle please."
Adey (for it was he): "Ginger?"
Coronno: "An inch?"
Adey: "Never heard of him."

Thank God they’re not blind as well!

Highways Agency

Nick H. b Adey 32
Brian S. b Crawford 12
Mike W. b Cousins 4
Peter b Benn 13
Paresh Run out (Carr) 6
Tony Whitrod b Hilary 7
Jason Marchant b Benn 0
Martin c Coronno b Benn 2
Matthew b Hilary 1
Gareth Not Out 2
Yogesh Not Out 1
Extras (b1, lb0, w9, nb0) 10
Total (20.0 overs) 90 for 9 wkts

Crawford 4 2 9 1
Cousins 4 1 15 1
Hilary 4 0 20 2
Adey 4 0 29 1
Benn 4 0 16 3


Bultitude c. Peter b. Gareth 14
Coronno Not out 39
Priest Not Out 14
Extras (B7, Lb2, W13, Nb 2) 24
Total (16.1 overs) 91 for 1 wkt

Did not bat: Cooper, Carr, Matthews, Adey, Cousins, Crawford, Benn, Hilary

Yogesh 3 0 9 0
Gareth 3 0 16 1
Paresh 4 0 21 0
Peter 2 0 11 0
Mike 2 0 21 0
Martin 1.1 0 3 0
Brian 1 0 1 0

Man of the Match: Mike Coronno

Dodgers won by 9 wickets

20 May 2001

St Andrews photo gallery

>>> Back to Gallery index

St Andrews, Croydon, 20 May 2001

Dodgers v St Andrews

20 May 2001

Dodgers won the toss and elected to bowl

St Andrews: 93/9 off 40.0 overs (Bratton 21*, Elston 20, Crawford 2-6, Cousins 2-10) Dodgers: 94/3 off 29.0 overs (Bultitude 36, Coronno 15, Carr J 2-24)


Dodgers Man of the Match: Darren Bultitude

Ah, the English summer! Dodgers finally managed to beat the rain and get a game in. We also managed to beat St Andrews out of sight.

Having heard from Neil Benn how weak St Andrews were, and having fallen for that old trick before, Dodgers took no chances and put St Andrews in to bat. However, Neil was true to his word and an excellent opening spell by Paterson and Crawford had the game won almost from the start – St Andrews 11/3 off 10. As usual in Dodgers games Paterson bowled some beauties that the opposition openers were just not good enough to get a touch on – although Neil Benn will no doubt claim them as "good leaves"! The opening attack was well supported by the change bowlers, especially Simon Cousins who had a brilliant debut turning in figures of 8-3-10-2. Releasing the grip on the jugular slightly we managed to feed St Andrews a few runs and get them up to 93/9 off their full allocation of 40 overs.

The now familiar opening pair of McBarron and Bultitude were both strangely subdued at the start of Dodgers' reply. Phil's early season form remains not so much in a trough as in the Grand Canyon and despite having the same initials and passport as the late Don, Darren looked more Estelle than Bradman. Only 6 runs were accumulated off the first 9 accurate overs from Benn (!) and Elston. The introduction of Clark into the attack saw the required acceleration until Phil hit a four ball straight into square leg's hands – sod's law proving once again that when you're out of form nothing goes right. Equally, class will out and Darren was soon striking the ball as cleanly as ever and looking like the opposition would never get him out.......

Mike Coronno gave us a taste of things to come later in the season smashing a quick 15 before dancing down the track once too often and finding himself stranded and giving Sian one of her easier stumping decisions. It was then left to your humble reporter to do what St Andrews could not and run Darren out for 36. This is not something I would recommend as I still have the bruises from the after match post mortem of the incident. Despite this hiccup we never looked like losing by this time and a quick cameo from Paterson at the end saw us home easily.

Despite the ease of the victory this was an enjoyable game and hopefully we can repeat the fixture next season. Highways and DCMS should prove tougher this week but if we play as well as this we will be very hard to beat.

Thanks to everyone who dragged themselves to Croydon for the game, including the supporters, and especially David Pope who played for the opposition.

Neil Priest

Quote of the week, or the benefits of a decent education:
Jude: "Rod, so if I said to you Ragazzi! Come state? How would you respond?"
Andrew: "I didn't know you were learning Spanish Rod....."

20 May 2001
John Ruskin Ground, Croydon
Toss: Dodgers


Burridge b Crawford 1
Benn b Hilary 3
Clark M b Crawford 2
Elston c&b Cousins 20
Betts b Hilary 6
Nutman b Cousins 1
Clark J c. Coronno b Leach 2
Simons c&b Cooper 8
Pope c. Priest b Leach 0
Bratton Not Out 25
Segal Not Out 11
Extras (b2, lb0, w12, nb1) 15
Total (40.0 overs) 93 for 9 wkts

1-2 (Burridge)
2-9 (Benn)
3-10 (Clark M)
4-17 (Betts)
5-22 (Nutman)
6-39 (Elston)
7-42 (Clark J)
8-42 (Pope)
9 - 63 (Simons)

Paterson 4 1 3 0
Crawford 6 1 6 2 (2 wides, 1 no ball)
Hilary 6 1 27 2
Cousins 8 3 10 2 (1 wide)
Leach 8 1 25 2 (3 wides)
Cooper 8 1 20 1 (6 wides)


McBarron c. Simons b. Carter J 8
Bultitude Run Out 36
Coronno st. Clark M b. Clark J 15
Priest Not Out 17
Paterson Not Out 8
Extras (b3, lb0, w6, nb1) 10
Total (29.0 overs) 94 for 3 wkts

Did not bat: Cooper, Hilary, Matthews, Leach, Cousins, Crawford

1-26 (McBarron)
2-42 (Coronno)
3-75 (Bultitude)

Benn 6 1 8 0
Elston 4 3 2 0
Clark J 6 1 24 2 (1 wide)
Betts 4 1 16 0
Segal 4 0 20 0 (3 wides)
Nutman 4 0 16 0 (2 wides, 1 no ball)
Pope 1 0 4 0

Man of the Match: Darren Bultitude

Dodgers won by 7 wickets